scratchy yech

itchy, scratchy throats mean only one thing here in the valley...allergies. yech. it would be a nice break to live someplace where i'm not allergic to things. yay. that's a nice thought. maybe chicago won't have carrie allergens.

so, amusing thoughts of the day from the classroom:

1) have been reading 'prince caspian' to the chitlins in a british accent. so fun!! but, the keen kid in the class checked out the book and has been following along. today he asks... 'miss wards...why do you change some of the words when you're reading to us?' knowing full well that i switch out the phased out meaning of 'queer' for a more modern 'odd'. hehe. imagine 5th graders not snickering about a teacher reading the word queer every couple pages. yah right! i love keen kids.

2) this weekend i enjoyed about two hours of extra-curricular, physical classroom prep - meaning - i joyously ripped down icky, old hot pink and baby blue bulletin boards and replaced them with cute colors and borders (they were hiding in the cabinet!). only, yesterday morning one of the kids is checking out the changes and says... 'hey miss wards...isn't 'writing spelled wrong up there?' (what? this child thinks I have misspelled something?? no way!) so i look up to the bulletin board and sho nuff, W-R-I-T-I-N-I-G looks me boldly in the face. haha. ridiculous. i really do think i'm slightly dyslexic. oops!

3) on a sheepish note. i think i misjudged the journal man. he's quite an amazing person, really. and didn't mean the gifts as a come-on. which is nice. i guess i freaked out because it's so strange to think about dating anyone else.

welp, i'm taking my sick, scratchy yech throat to go get some much needed rest. love you all. would love to know who reads this sometime :) hi bri. dubya.

have another photo, well, photos really

this is a public proclamation that God provides.

so i was just being a bit whiney about guys and friendship and blah blah blah. but God helped me remember that He has placed many genuine male friendships in my life. and those are not to be undervalued.

also, my car was about...6,000 miles overdue for an oil change?? i'm usually good about taking care of that stuff, but things have just been so weird and hectic. anywho. a friend volunteered to change my oil for me. how lovely is that?

so, to honor God's provision and one of the good guys in my life, have another photo, well, photos really. have more photos.





doesn't he look happy! love it.

the vibe

so i guess there's a vibe that i've started emitting. it's the...come and show affection to me if you're male vibe. apparently this vibe begins sounding off via methods like smiling and attentive listening.

there's a great guy that i work with at school, and i left him a brownie. and he paid me back by picking out two full cds worth of mixed songs. great songs by the way. he's also an artist, so he bought me a blank journal and decorated the outside with a collage/montage/decoupage/beautiful combination of personal things. the most striking thing is that he used his fingers dipped in red and black paint and left permanent prints up the spine of my journal. it's so personal, for someone i know so little. simultaneously beautiful and slightly intrusive.

then there's a different guy that works one on one with some of my students. also, great guy. very different. military guy who can run for 22 miles. who on earth can do that? oh! also, a funny part is that his presence in my life also means that i have my first friend named jesus. hehe. besides christ. but now he's text messaging me and dropping by the coffee shop. and that's nice but...

what am i complaining about? i've no idea really. kind, friendly affection from a couple guys that i know? that's not an issue.

i just get shivers though, thinking about being with anyone in anything even vaguely resembling a dating situation. i'm moving to chicago for goodness' sake. we really must do something about this vibe situation! ha.

a moment of mania

so, during csts (california state tests) we're not supposed to cram information down the kids throats. it's like, the one excused week of the year when we get to kick it old school and teach like the olden days. when we could teach art. or music. or cup rhythms. ha.

upon the justification that it develops 'not only fine motor skills and memorization techniques, but also creates a strong sense of unity and accomplishment' amongst the 5th graders, my partner teacher and i made a bold move. we took an entire hour today to teach kids this circular cup-clapping rhythm when, at the end of the two measures of clapping and tapping, each participant passes the cup to the next person and it starts all over again. it's hard to explain. but picture nearly 60 5th graders sitting in a huge circle, clapping, tapping, passing, and laughing. at school. enjoying school. a moment of pure mania.

here's a video to help explain.

two great characters

we're all just actors in a play, with characters entering the stage moment by moment. that's what my brother would say. i think shakespeare said something of the sort as well.

but, today, God blessed me with the entrance of two hilarious characters. one for a good 30 minutes or so, the other one for only a snippet of time. here we go.

first, an AMAZING customer alert. one of my absolute favorite parts of working at this coffee shop turned cafe is the strange variety of people who wander in as patrons. who knew such variety even existed in this breeding pool of town, a mere 3,000 strong??

back to my shift. about 3:30 this afternoon i look at the clock and realize there's not been a single customer in the last hour! when it's this slow, what do good baristas do? we put logo stickers on to-go cups. so here i am, carefully applying sticky ovals to clear cups, praying, quite literally, for a customer to break up the monotony. and did God answer my request? yes, He did. whew! and not just any customer.

He sent a 6'0", fairly independent, very indecisive, incredibly sociable mentally handicapped young man. i stopped my cup-sticking to go take his order and he said it's ok, that he would 'take a while to decide'. boy was he right! he'd stare at the menu for a bit, then the smoothie machine, then the gelato, then make eye contact and ask a random question. we covered everything from 'what type of music do you listen to' all the way down to 'would i like a peach smoothie better, or a pina colada one?' in between questions i'd smile and say 'ok, i'm going to go do *random barista responsibility* and you just let me know when you're ready'

no less than thirty minutes of menu-guessing, random tasking, and absolutely delightful conversation later he settled on a pina colada smoothie, even though he doesn't like pineapple or coconut! ha. love it. the kicker, though, is that i make his smoothie and start to reach the whip cream, and realizing i didn't ask him...i say 'would you like whip cream on top?' he just bursts out laughing and says, 'like i can make a fast choice, it's going to melt before i pick yes or no! can you pick for me?' awesome. i'm going to miss my job when i move.

this leads me to my second blessing of a character today. when a young woman finds herself single, with empty space in her calendar, living far away from family, and a friend to nearly all the newlyweds in town (ok, not all the newlyweds) - she takes walks with top-notch friends from other cities. when those friends go away and others are busy, she takes walks alone. so that is what i did. i decided i'd be very healthy and go for a walk alone. as i'm walking around the park, admiring the beauty of the trees and bushes, i laugh out loud because i quickly realize that there's a bush riding a bicycle around the park! haha. ok, it was actually a kid dressed head to toe in a hunting ambush costume made of faux green foliage. but, to see this kid riding around, next to his very normal looking, suburban friend made me smile and laugh. honestly, it made me think that's probably what most recent ex-boyfriend was like as a kid. (i've quite nearly decided to tape his photo on my steering wheel after writing 'he is not the enemy, Evil is the enemy' all over it) maybe it'll help extinguish the continued anger. hehe.

thank God for the entry of two great characters. sweet dreams of sour pickles to all.

feeling ill? tuff shed.

so, two nights ago i lied down in bed for what i thought would be a comfortable nights' sleep. not so much really. i woke up 3 times over the next 4 hours puking my guts out. eeewwww. so, how does this relate to substitute teaching? it's does.

it's 1:25 am. i've just ousted the last bit of anything existing in dear ol tummy and i start thinking. do i stay home tomorrow? do i go in to work? it's probably just food poisoning or something. not a serious risk to any of my kids. (notice they're "mine" now that i'm doing the long term thing)

what they never tell you is that when you long term, generally, you get to be the teacher for less pay and no benefits. that means, you have the freedom to create fun assignments that kids will enjoy, sneak in extra episodes of magic school bus, and yes...last but not least...leave lesson plans for the sub-sub if you're feeling ill.

so back to the wee morning hours. i'm weighing my options. i'm kinda type-a, so creating 'good' lesson plans is like torture. but then, so is lying with one's head in a toilet. i decide to tough it out. get as much sleep as i can, then wake up and do it again, as dad would say.

7:25 a.m. after remaining in bed as long as humanly possible, i get up and go to work. it takes about 10 seconds of 'but meeees wards!!!!' for me to realize there's no way i'll last the day. i phone the office and have them call for the sub sub. i have the kids silent read and pull together decent plans. and now, just waiting for the 'ok' to go home and puke some more.

9:10...still waiting. morning recess? still waiting.

so, i phone the office again. sweet, wonderful esmeralda called it in - but get this - NO ONE will take the job. maybe they've heard about the torture of this class, maybe they're all busy washing their hair...but either way i find myself in one of the few, ugly professions in which i feel like puking, and still get to stay all day long in a room full of children who still won't pronounce my name correctly. feeling ill? tuff shed.

on the upside, i did get to go interview for grad school this week. woot woot.

have a photo

this is what my soul feels like right now.

ps - this is what happens when you drop a bit of food coloring into whole milk, then stick in a q-tip with dishwashing soap on it into the middle. weird huh? it's a combination of surface tension and fats and soap. crazy! try it, you'll like it. except if that's what your soul feels like.

but never two at once my dear!

can you guess the movie that quote is from? gold star if you do!

i know, i know, my random ramblings, twice in one night? this one, is just a bit of irony. perhaps best seen through the timeline process.

17 months ago - began dating a guy

16.5 months ago - become pretty much adopted by his family.

3 months ago - mutual break-up

2 months ago - proclaimed it the 'most amicable break-up of all time!'

1 month ago - run into his sister and brother-in-law while bartending at a wedding (really? of all places?! bowtie and all...)

1 week ago - run into his little sister at a john piper conference (piper was great by the by)

4 days ago - he leaves me a voicemail to (and i quote) 'stop call-ING ME!' after i phoned, asking him to fix something that he broke while we were dating...can we spell mistake? and i don't call him! grumble grumble grumble.

3 days and 23 hours and 59 minutes ago - tremble with anger and fall to tears. write horrid-mean songs about him. feel a bit of relief

1 day ago - run into much of the rest of his family at mundo's (the world's best latin food)

yep, that's right, within a radial week of his apparent hatred of my very essence and being God has seen fit to plop in my path seven, yes, seven of his family members. now that is irony. or maybe it's just annoying? ha!

(to be fair, his siblings really are awesome, and so is he, he's just a [self-proclaimed] jerk sometimes. break-ups are tough nuts to crack.)

strange occurrence

ever since i began working at the coffee shop, i've gotten out late at night. or at least late-ish. this caused me to get into the habit of going grocery shopping at raley's late at night. raley's, late at night, could quite possibly be one of the world's friendliest places. all the clerks are just excited that someone is actually shopping at such a late hour. they're all very friendly. this is lovely. their friendliness has little to do with my point.

and now, the strange occurrence. since i've taken on the new 5th grade long-term sub job (mah?!) i've decided eating fast food every day for lunch might not be the healthiest thing in the world. so what does every health (and money)-conscious sub do? we go to the grocery store to brown bag it. raley's, late at night, to be exact.

and now, the actual strange occurrence. i pulled up in my dirty, charcoal colored car (which now appears to be covered in splatters of central valley clay-mud) blaring whatever weepiesad female singer was within reach and...what car did i pull up to the right of? good of you to ask. i pulled up beside a beautiful, shiny, deep silver, pristine porsche. i'm not one to be impressed by cars, but this one was a beaute. perhaps it was the way the streetlight glittered off it's fancy hubcaps.

when i came out of the grocery store, however, the same beautiful auto was on my right. wait, when i pulled up, not 20 minutes prior, it was on my left. wasn't it? slowly i look to the left of my car, where the porsche was to begin with (unless the 5th grade have actually driven me insane already)...and much to my surprise, there, parked, is another beautiful, shiny, deep silver, pristine porsche which had pulled up beside my car while i was inside. strange occurrence, no? so, sandwiched between the two vehicles, i pondered the nature of such a coincidence for a moment, then took home my delicious array of vegetables and cheeses.