best thing ever.

ok, best thing in a while maybe.

i found him.

remember the love affair from several blogs ago? the one that made me break off my three year running relationship with bald-on-the-bottom adam lake back in the day? dear timmity?

i found him.

completely by accident, and amazingly coincidental [timing wise] considering the recency of my flashback journal blog.

so here he is, the man of my 5th grade dreams. yep, there in the blue shirt [not the long curly hair]:



how's that for random?

look, i'm am your father.

so we're writing a book together, my class and i. well, i'm trying to make it as "them" as possible.

so far we've voted on characters, basic premise, and key plot points. since 8-9 year olds are the voters, this means our story begins:

"once upon a time there were two monkeys who ruled china. then evil chipmunks took over! they changed the laws and everything. the monkeys knew they had to stop the evil chipmunks, but they didn't know what to do.

they sat and sat and sat and thought. then, after many hours, they figured out what the thing was. the thing was to stop them! [genius]"

so today our job was to brainstorm as many story endings as possible. each student wrote down his or her own ideas as coherently as possible. here's the best[est] one in the stack [unabridged]...

"the monkeys called the lion and the monkeys were waiting for the lion the monkeys went to the free [flea] market to buy bannanas to eat. the monkeys walk. the monkeys saw lion the monkeys said to the lion to make a plan so the lion went to the lab. the lion made two robots chipmunks. the lion put the the robots by the chipmunks trees the lion nock [knock] at the door and left the chipmunks open the door and the chipmunks open the door and the chipmunks said so hot robots. the chipmunks saw a door on the robots they open it and saw fruit they got grapes the grapes has poison so the chipmunks franked [fainted?] and then lion came the chipmunks said look i'm am your father and the chipmunks died."

i burst out laughing aloud as i read it.

"look i'm am your father"

who knew kids as young as these watch star wars!? awesome. though, we might have to work a bit on the punctuation.

latin dance party explosion

so there was a latin dance party explosion in my classroom this afternoon. [term courtesy of j.jeter]

it was SO fun. we had about 20 minutes of nearly wasted time aching to be used for something other than reading, math, or testing. it's almost like testing is a school subject now. ug.

so, we got into a circle and danced to manu chao's 'el desaparecido' and 'king of the bongos'. one at a time the kids got to be the leader in the middle and all the rest of the circle had to try to dance like that person. it was amazingly cool to see which ones shone in the spotlight. sergio [who introduced me to manu chao] was very disappointed not to be invited the the latin dance party explosion. but, i mean, you can't plan a party like that. ha.

i have this very strange feeling that there might be another latin dance party explosion or two before the end of the school year...

moments of today.

sometimes, as a sub, i find myself saying the most inane things. here are a couple from today.

'you need to get out of that bucket. you should not be sitting in the ball bucket. you know that.'


'so you think the monkey should marry the lion and have half monkey half lion babies?'


'please stop bouncing the ball against the window.'


sometimes, as a sub, i find myself doing the most inane things. like sharpening 20 number 2 pencils by hand with a tiny, twisty, student pencil sharpener so they can take another test.


i'm going to miss substitute teaching so much. no, seriously.

a trip down memory lane

approximately february 4th, 1992. third grade journal.

[and i quote...]

"i like the group the Party. i might get the tape of "in my dreams" by the Party. i might get skates or i might get roller blades for my birthday. or what i really want is a new bike for my birthday. oh and by the way i get to have my birthday at disanyland. i know were george washington's grave is."

[continuity of thought? anyone? anyone? bueller?]

and yes, here is the video, courtesy of youtube:



why is my past so amusing to me now? i spiral through the same cycles i think. more entertainment. for me, at least:

"i am in third grade. there is a boy in our class. i think he is crazy. he runs at the least 5 laps a reses. his name is adam lake. if i call on adam for something like heads up seven up. he would just trick me while i was playing the game. i like my dad except that he kids around about adam and i. just a few days ago he said "i would like to meet this adam lake if he is going to court my daughter.' i personly think that was mean of him to say that. and embarassing me in front of my mom and brother ok. when the play was done adam lake's family and are family had the same idea, to go to ginger's cornner. i felt sorry for adam because he was all alone, and sitting by himself at the store. [teacher comments: why didn't you talk to him?] cause i was to bizy. laughing. jaime his sister and my brother and i were all sitting by each other, and when we get crazy we really do get crazy. in the play my brother was captain hook. i of coruse was beautiful jane...[sometime ramblings-on later] i iggmit to liking adam lake. why do people make fun of me for that. he is very cute. i am going to write our a ghost story for you. ok!"

[what in the world. what planet was i living on? planet 'my whole life has revolved around my crushes'???? yep. hopefully i'll move from this planet someday.]

where did i learn how to deal with guys? enjoy the following report from the same journal:

"my dad had a talk with me last night about adam lake. he said 'carrie, it's no the girls job. you can edge him on by looking cute. it's just adam lake is a shy boy. he is the one who writes letters to you. you just relax he has to do the thinking. you don't have to do anything ecxept edge him on and watch the fun while it is happining.' even though i like him i still listen to my dad, so i quit.

[for what? two seconds? right back to the same habits.]

the boy who garners this much attention must be pretty fantastic:

"i went to a fifty's show last night. i dressed up in my poodle skirt. i even put my hair up. i put lippstick on just for adam lake. he is the one who i like. he is the boy who baraly has any hair on the bottom of his head.

[no hair? awesome.]

update, march 5, 1994:

"i am now in 5th grade have a 4.0 gpa. i also have a boyfriend, he is adam L. adams eyes are brown same as his hair, he has a bull cut and has a 3.22 gpa...i think i will call adam and tell him i don't want to be his girlfriend anymore. i love tim who goes by 3 names tim, timothy, and timity, i personaly like to call him timity. goodbye!"

[it appears as though i've always been fixated on the two guy faux dilemma.]

and that's enough introspection of my thoughtlessly thoughtful childhood ponderings.

a delight.

more than one delight, actually!

number one) i recorded two of my new songs today! and it's SO much fun to record music. i think i've been bitten by the bug. we just played around and laid down some music. good stuff! amazingly fun.

number two) i went in to teach kindergarten at the school i just finished the long term sub at...but they switched me to 3rd grade at the last minute. i was bummed to be moved, but it was all for the best! many of the kids were younger siblings of students in the other classes and actually said things like "oh! yay! it's miss ward you guys!" "she's so cool" "my brother was in her class!" what a delight!

proof in pudding.

the gang presentation bothered me. extremely. it was so graphic! they're 10-12 years old, for goodness sakes. it really bothered me.

they say the proof is in the pudding? if pudding is dreaming, then this is true. i had a horrendous dream about the class last night. they all started beating the crud out of each other to get hazed into the gang. but in my dream two of the kids died because they beat each other so horribly. i was screaming at them to stop and trying to pull them off each other, but it wasn't working. there was blood everywhere and i called the office screaming 'they're going to kill each other! help help!" and they sent "disciplinarians" out to stop the fighting. i also called my friend and mentor - but all she had were harsh words because i was 'full of fear, not strength.' what?? i was shaking in my dream and had to serve as a witness in school proceedings against my kids. it was insane.

the only nice part is that i woke up knowing it was a dream because it was so far from reality. i can't stand the dreams when i wake up disoriented, unsure if we really broke up, or if i ever moved away from home, or if dad is still alive somewhere.

urgency and jose gonzalez

hello. i've recently discovered the depth and force of the music of jose gonzalez. it's so amazingly peaceful. which is nice. because the excitement and urgency are simultaneously growing within me. the urgency for the future to be now. patience, i know, and it will be.

on a completely unrelated note. it was decided for me this morning at approximately 8:50 am that at 10:00 am my class and i would watch a graphic 1 1/2 hr. sheriff's presentation about gangs. he taught them everything they need to know to have a successful gang life. signs, colors, slang, ways to get into gangs, where to go to meet gansters, and he also mentioned that girls can have sex to get into gangs. WHO DECIDED 60 FIFTH GRADERS SHOULD BE EXPOSED TO THIS? haha. oh my goodness. i almost wanted to puke because some of his information, photos, and videos were so graphic. maybe i'm just naive and these 5th graders are being propositioned to sell drugs, join gangs, etc.

that said, i've got to go take my mother's day project out of the dryer. nitey nite! sweet dreams.

wal-mart(s)

so this post isn't actually sarcastic or amusing. lo siento. my only purpose is to relate a minor incident. just a little blip on the radar, really.

this weekend i decided to be healthy and get rid of all relationship memorabilia. this made me a bit sad. melancholy, even. but the blip is this -

not only did my fantastic friend katie wander somewhat aimlessly through wal-mart(s) with me, but a completely random guy says to me "hey, i just want you to know that i think you're beautiful."

maybe God does speak through questionably motivated teens in the late-ish hours of the evening.

but then again, some other guys honked at us and then held up a chuckie doll...?!

life is so weird.