music

usually, my ability to create music is intimately related to my level of depression...or...'downness' if i'm able to make music, and write lyrics, then it very nearly necessarily follows that i'm sad. about something, nothing really, everything. but the last couple of weeks have been different.

thanks to the ever amazing dr. j in hermeneutics, i was thinking about how fun it would be to take a psalm and set it to music. i know, i know, not the most original thing in the world. BUT you don't understand. when i write, i'm usually despairing anyway. so why bother with lyrics? just take some good old-fashioned biblical despair and add some interesting production. so that's a project in progress and i'm quite excited to see where it will end up.

and then highly trusted fellow musician asks me to sing a song with him. how exciting! so we worked on it on sunday and he mixed and mixed and mixed. throw in a little violin and it's pretty decent stuff. and not depressing at all.

so...my final comment is....yay God. yay God for reclaiming the creativity you endowed me with and turning it for your glory, instead of vanity.

couldn't take it

okay, so i couldn't take it anymore. the hanging, open intimate kisses crossed the line. and other people in the room were visibly distracted.

so, as gently as possible. i said, "hey guys. do you go to moody? that's great. it would be awesome if you could tone down the kissing and stuff, just, 'cause we're in public. oh! i go to the grad school, otherwise i probably wouldn't have said anything.'

and to their credit, or God's rather, they totally stopped. and they even started studying.

oooh, i guess i'd better start studying now that my excuse for distraction is gone! ha.

keep it to yourself

so i was just wondering about something. where exactly is the line between being rude, being honest, and bearing annoying circumstances in patience?

okay, we're at last night. i get totally wrapped up in writing a song and am up fairly late. but my neighbors get back just after i finally settle in to go to sleep. and, i feel confident saying that they are not happy. in the slightest. there is crying. there is screaming. i kid you not. he called some other girl. she is furious. she screams a lot about being "played" and yells "don't you shhhhh me! don't YOU SHHHH ME!!!!" too many times to count. at 3:30 in the morning.

after trying to be distracted and praying for them for over half an hour, i start getting a stomach ache. like i am the one in the argument.

i figure this is the line. so i literally pound on the wall about 5 times and they shut up.

the only thing that's keeping me from writing the girl a note and offering a listening ear [during daylight hours] is wondering whether or not that crosses the bigger line.

and now, i'm at a coffee shop sort of trying to study. there's a guy reading nearby. pretty common scene. except that there are two young moody couples here. and by moody, i mean they're undergrads at the school we all attend. they're giggling. laughing. playing trivia loudly. touching each other. kissing. making jokes about sex.

they're here because they can behave differently than they can at the coffee shop on campus. well, at least that's my take. but they're being SO vocal about where they go to school, what Bible classes they want to take, and they're tossing around the name God like it's going out of style.

instead of calling that the line and talking to them, i'm writing a blog. i don't feel like chastising these kids. i don't even feel like being gentle and befriending them to communicate kindly that they're representing moody, themselves, and most of all God quite poorly.

seriously though, who am i to comment on their lives? i have no relational basis to say a word to them, i don't even know them.

maybe i'm the one with the problem? am i just too sensitive? i feel like i should be more tolerant. hrmmm. what does it look like to love people well, without excusing behavior?