the here is now

first, a book quote from the beloved, but depressing, anna karenina. especially for bri. you'll get it when you get to the end.

'as he drew nearer, the peasants - following each other in a long straggling line, some with coats on, some in their shirt, each swinging his scythe in his own manner - gradually came into sight. he counted forty-two of them.'


second, a Fancy Pants experience.

it was a normal night. i was dressed in a crisp black shirt with a black satin tie. a long black apron covering the worst black work pants i've ever owned. my size 4, boys, dress shoes faithfully fulfilled their job description - carrying me to and from the on site kitchen filling client requests. chefs ever so pleasantly telling me how to position the asparagus as i worried about wine-ing and water-ing my table.

out i flew to cover some forgotten tables, smile bigger than ever, hoping to make up for the mishap. no wine glass should ever go empty. it's the Fancy Pants way.

'can i pour you some red or white wine sir?' making bright eye contact with one of the 60 million dollar men in the room. [literally]

'why yes, how about some red.'

big smile as i pour what i hope is the proper amount. 'i hope you enjoy it.'

'now, where are you from?' asks 60 million dollar man.

'oh, i'm not from around here.' uh oh...how am i going to get to the rest of the table.

'where's home then?'

'california actually.' wondering how to politely end the conversation so i pour drinks for others at the table.

'oh wow. what drew you out here?'

'school. i came out for graduate studies and fell in love with the city.'

'well isn't that great. what school are you studying at?'

'have you heard of moody bible institute?'

' yes i have. it's a wonderful school. they do a lot for this community what are you studying there?'

'well, it sounds really amgiguous, but spiritual formation and discipleship. basically looking at the questions of "how do we make decisions about who God is? and how do we help each other grow in that understanding?'

'hrmmm. and what on earth would you do with a degree like that? a worthy subject though. worthy.'

'well, i think i'd love to open a coffee shop. a place where people can sit and talk and get to know each other. i really love listening to people's life stories.'

'dear, i wish you much luck. that's a beautiful thing dear. beautiful. i say that often but i don't always mean it. and i mean it, i wish you success.'

'wow. thank you so much, sir, that's very kind of you. i hope you enjoy your evening! so often i'm just a the black shirt and tie in the background, but thank you for asking me questions.'

'you're so much more than a shirt and tie. and you have an exquisite smile darling. have a good night.'


it's odd how being respected, or at least, treated well by a stranger in an unanticipated way can mean so much.


third. am sitting at a coffee shop. longing for the somewhat stuffed away memories of pulling shots and helping people pick the perfect drink.

thanks barista. i mean micah. from ohio.

speak no orchids of evil.

so, i worked a wedding with Fancy Pants Catering. servers at the ready in black bistro [like always]. bride, overjoyed, in thousands of silky white. groom, dancing in shiny shoes. bridesmaids, giddily drunk, in black with ribbon-tied flip flops. guests, happy in an array of white wine and beer dribbled ensembles.

i made fast friends with the grandmother of the bride, as she scoured the back hallway for thick brown coffee at about 20 minutes to midnight.

they had beautiful orchids at this wedding. everywhere. beautiful orchids, everywhere. with the mixed scents of a cabernet sauvignon and dark roast coffee wafting near ears, my new friend whispered to me that the servers should take them home at the end of the night.

'we're just going to throw them away anyway, dear. you should all take them home. just cut the tips off.'

so we did.


so those are the orchids. and here's the speak no evil.

i recently had a discussion with a friend that has left me wondering:

when, why, where, to whom, and how - most importantly how - do i speak of my faith?

how do i speak of something that is a part of every fiber of my being?

how do i communicate well, my passion for things written in the Bible without sounding 'religious?'

my fear is that i will fall silent, for timidity or indecision.

my tendency is to do so.

but where does that leave me? i still need to face the opinion of others. of how they think of my faith and understand me.

do they understand me?

how much is lost in the translation from expressing my faith naturally to expressing my faith so others will not reject it simply on the basis of my language?



that's all really. orchids and communicating.

guten tag

you're an ooooooom-lout. you're not a lout. i'm sure you're a very nice person.

so i'm learning traveler's german. for no particular reason ;) i'd also be learning english for no particular reason, but i already know it! free podcasts are the coolest thing ever. i've got 100 single phrase lessons that i can listen to just as many times as i want. love it! i'm so excited about this trip.

you know, besides the random rain this summer, i think that chicago is one of the nicest summer cities ever. a lovely friend loaned me her boke, and that's seriously all i need to have fun. free fun is EVERYWHERE. concerts in the park. the "beach" no more than 10 minutes away. parks galore. amazing. i wish i could just bring all the people i love here. that would be a lot of plane tickets. and floor space.

so, in all this communitas business, i've realized that i pay a lot for rent. BUT i now see why people love this neighborhood and will pay more to live here. it is incredibly convenient in the scheme of things. it will be worth the "compromise" though, to live with others. fewer restaurants, but more people to adore.

mmmm. i think i'm off to one of those free, beachy places.

adios. or....auf wiedersehen!